You Are Not Alone

24 Apr

Every year, Resolve hosts a National Infertility Awareness Week to raise awareness of infertility, provide support to people going through treatment for infertility and raise money to lobby for legal “things” (i.e. better coverage of infertility treatments by insurance companies and prevention of laws against things like IVF).  Each year, the week has a different theme.  This year’s theme is “You Are Not Alone.”



Sometimes I wish I could just pretend things away.  Those inconvenient things.  The things that hurt me or make me sad.  It’s such a childish hope: If I can just forget about them, they’re not real.  It’s a childish way to handle “tough” things, and I realize that. But I also realize that sometimes it’s important to walk away from stressful situations and get your head back on right before you face those situations again.  And there’s no harm in wishing the crappy parts of life would just magically disappear while you’re taking a break from them…

I took a little break chronicling our battle with infertility while we took a little break from the meds and decided what to do next (since meds are not working we are being faced with some pretty tough decisions).  But the battle didn’t go away. Deep down, I always knew it wouldn’t… Partially because it’s always going to be there, even if somehow, by some miracle (and at this point, I feel that it would be nothing short of a miracle), we end up conceiving, carrying and delivering a baby.  The past (almost) 5 years don’t just go away.

But the bigger reason it hasn’t gone away is because I am not alone.

Since I started being more open on my blog (and sometimes in real life), I have received a plethora of messages from friends who are in their own battles with infertility, people I didn’t even know were trying to have kids. Even when I wasn’t writing about it, I was getting emails and messages–in the four(ish) months I haven’t written about it, 3 new people have told me their stories.  This just adds to the list of friends I now know are part of “The Club.” People who aren’t ready to go public. People who are new to the game. People who have been on this roller coaster for longer than we have been. People with questions. People with words of encouragement. People who just need to commiserate (as a language nerd, wow is that a perfect word to describe it–being together in misery).

According to stats I’ve seen, anywhere from 1 in 8 to 1 in 6 couples experience infertility.  The number is always increasing. The number of people I know who I didn’t know were going through it is always increasing.

We are not alone.

Every new story I hear, every person who comes to me with their personal narrative, it just reminds me…

I am not alone.

I draw strength from the stories.  And that is a major part of why I share our story.  Because when this first started, I felt alone.  Very, scarily alone.  I didn’t want to talk about it with people.  I couldn’t talk about it with people.

Then I found an online community full of bloggers sharing their “stuff,” and even though it was completely different from what we were experiencing, just knowing that there were other people out there going to the doctor as often as us, feeling the frustrations we felt, and worrying about the things we feared made me feel (marginally) better.  In a world where I felt like I was surrounded by couples effortlessly popping out babies, I realized we weren’t actually alone. There were actually a lot of other couples out there struggling like we were.  We were not alone.  And so I choose to add my voice to that group of voices that say “you are not alone” to the next couple.

So if you are struggling, know that I am here for you: to talk to, to listen to you vent, to cry with you, to hug you, to be indignantly-pissed-off-at-how-unfair-life-is with you…whatever you might need, I am here for you.

You are not alone.


If you’re itching to read more, visit Resolve’s website to find links to pretty much everything you might be wondering about infertility.


2 Responses to “You Are Not Alone”

  1. vfreile April 28, 2015 at 8:29 pm #

    xo. I got your back lady


  1. YOU are not alone! | Trails2Brews - April 28, 2015

    […] week as part of National Infertility Week, Sheila shared this post. The theme for this year was (is) “You Are Not […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: