clever title here

19 Oct

This morning I took Picasso to Durand for a nice, slow, long run.  I didn’t want to go, not gonna lie.  I got a much later start than I like (it was almost 9) because I had to go to Wegmans this morning first.  But I went.  And I’m glad.  Because:

 

1.  As we were cruising through the trails, which were mostly covered in leaves and a little tricky in some spots to find (thank God I run there all the time and know them pretty much like the back of my hand), I had a bizarre thought.  I have no idea where it came from/why, but I just randomly started thinking about how if I were going to die, I would want it to be on a fall day like this.  I would want to have spent the day out running around on trails, being outside, seeing the beautiful world one last time.  And it seems super morbid now, but when I thought it, it was not morbid at all.  More just peaceful and content.  Like this is what I was supposed to be doing.  I was 100% in the moment and at peace.  And it was fabulous.

 

2.  On my way home, I saw not one but two old couples who made my whole day.  The first couple were walking on the road in the park, and they were holding hands.  She had her big church hat on, he was carrying a little brimmed hat in his hands.  And it made me so happy.  And then lo and behold, there’s another couple walking on the sidewalk up in Irondequoit–her in her babushka, him in his suspenders.  And again, I was just so happy.  Old people in love are adorable.  Thank you, old people, for making my day.

 

3.  As I was driving, thinking about how much I loved this morning’s trail excursion, my mind wandered back to the reality of the lesson plans and SLOs that I need to finish up this weekend.  And instead of getting stressed and upset, I just started thinking about how I need to start looking at work as just a job.  Would it be nice to be passionate about what I do?  Sure. (And to be fair, I’d say I am.)  Would it be nice to work with people who do their jobs, so that I could do mine?  Of course.  Would it be really cool to feel appreciated?  You betcha.  But if that stuff’s not gonna happen, then I need to just deal.  It’s a means to an end.  I go to work so I can have money to do things I want to do, like buy new shoes and running clothes so I can play in the woods at night and on the weekends.  Not many people I know truly love their jobs, so why should I think I will ever love mine?  It’s just not realistic.  Time to stop comparing my life to my ideal life.  Not that I should stop striving for better.  Just that I need to be realistic about what I can expect…

 

Anyway, time to prep dinner for tonight, then clean up, then off to a cycle race before Eric’s parents get here.  Busy busy. 

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