14 Oct

I am a big time planner.  I’ve talked about it before.  I’d say it’s one of my biggest strengths (and conversely one of my biggest weaknesses because I have a hard time accepting that there are some things that I just can’t plan for, no matter how hard I work/try). 


This weekend, we RD-ed our third race (Dash for Dasher, 0 SPF, and now Ready, Set, Glow).  There were things that went well and things I’d like to change for next time around.  We have a binder for each #TrailsRoc race, and I’ve already made my list of “what to do differently” for the next race AND for next year’s RSG.  There were a lot of smiles, a lot of happy people, and a lot of laughter yesterday, and that makes me feel good.  Knowing that we had a hand in making some people happy last night is a great feeling.  I am a big time people pleaser (again, a strength and a weakness), so last night was filled with a lot of warm fuzzies for me.


Even with the perceived (by me anyway) chaos of last night, with all of the hours of work that went into putting on the event in the months and especially day of the race, I had fun.  It was like play for me in a lot of ways.  Sometimes #TrailsRoc feels like a job, but more often it feels like fun.  I love the people I’ve met who are now part of my Rochester family.  I love the trails I’ve discovered (today, taking my family on a hike to the bottom of the waterfall at Seneca, I realized that without trail running, we never would’ve known it existed, and I was so happy).  I like organizing.  I like thinking of what would make an event more fun.  I like researching ideas.  I like taking the good things I’ve seen/heard of and putting them all together.  I genuinely enjoy planning our races.  I’m not going to lie–0 SPF had me livid on more than one occasion, and I swore never again.  But seeing how the race went on the day-of made it all worth it.  It brought me back to all of the event planning I did in high school, back when I was a volunteer machine.  I vollied with Girl Scouts, I worked with ECMC to collect stuff for AIDS patients, I was a counselor at a leadership/wellness camp, I worked with the United Way on several projects…if I wasn’t at practice for whichever season’s sport I was doing, I was at a meeting to plan some cool event/help out with some cool event.  And it was amazing.  And I’d forgotten how amazing it was until all this RD stuff started up.  Now, every race is like a smack in the head that this is what I love to do.


I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I would do if money were no object.  Teaching is not it, I don’t think.  Don’t get me wrong–I love my kids and when I am with them, helping them to learn, giving them the tools they need to learn to read or to write or especially to reason and think for themselves, it is what I want for myself.  But the way education is shifting and changing, the paperwork, the bullshit “stuff” I have to do when I’m not working with kids (which is more and more all the time, which means less and less quality educational time with the kids themselves), the more convinced I am that I do not want to stay in education.  It’s stressful, it’s difficult, and it seems like an uphill battle.  Like no matter how much progress I make, no matter how many steps forward, there’s always something pushing me backward.  Everyone keeps saying the pendulum will swing back, but I’m not so sure, and I don’t know how long I can wait before I decide it’s not worth it, and my time and talents would be better used elsewhere…it’s tough because when I think about leaving education, I feel like I’m quitting on these kids.  I feel guilty, and I start to hate myself for wishing for something “easier” or “less stressful.”  They’re my babies–I see my siblings in them, I see my hopefully future children, and I think about what kind of person I want working with them.  And that makes it hard to think about leaving.  But I also have to be happy and feel fulfilled by my work, and lately, I’m just not sure education is doing it for me. 


So if money were no object, if I could just spend my days doing what I wanted, when I wanted, what would I do? I know I would volunteer my time in a school–I love working with kids and can’t imagine NOT teaching in some capacity.  But I would also really love to plan events.  I wish there was a way to make event planning a career.  If my only job was to organize events/races, if that was where all of my focus could be, imagine how amazing they would be!  Sooooo let me know if you have any ideas for a job that involves event planning, because I’d be interested! 


In the meantime, we move on to 0 Degree Winter Trail Festival, aka WTF, which will be a family-friendly affair.  Already looking forward to developing my ideas/plans for this one!!!!


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