diamonds are a girl’s best friend?

27 Aug

Today, Eric had a convo with his mother regarding my wedding rings.  She said something which I think is funny, which is that all women want diamonds, and I am just trying to protect Eric’s feelings by saying that I don’t.  And it got me to thinking…

 

When we first got engaged, Eric bought me a really beautiful engagement ring, with three stones and some smaller diamonds lining the band.  It was beautiful, I loved it.  I love everything about our engagement story–us going to look at rings together, him buying it secretly but then teasing me for weeks about when he was going to pop the question, the fact that he was traditional and got down on one knee (after asking my parents for permission), the way he had planned the entire day from the surprise engagement to the parties all afternoon/evening to celebrate.  I had requested a ring that did not have a very high setting because I was terrified that I would break it, despite repeated assurances that diamonds are indestructible.  But I know myself.  “This is why we can’t have nice things” and “you can dress her up but you can’t take her out” are phrases that were clearly meant for me…

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Amazing surprise!!!

Fast forward 2 years, when I was showering one night, my ring had spun on my finger and as I was washing my face, I noticed a scratching sensation.  I opened my eyes to find one of the diamonds missing, a prong completely broke off.  I have no idea when it happened.  I panicked, not because I was upset so much as I was scared what Eric was going to say.  But he was pretty calm about it.  Oh well.  Guess we’ll get a new one.  I think for both of us, the sad part was not the loss of this piece of our commitment to one another as it was the amount of money we had spent on that “thing,” that would never be recovered.  Lame.

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Similar to my first ring…past, present, future 🙂

 

Eric and I researched new rings, but at the time, buying a new ring was not really in the budget.  Furthermore, I didn’t really care if I even had a ring or not.  I was married.  To me, the ring is just a symbol, and as such is only as valuable as the value you choose to give it.  Just because I wasn’t wearing a ring didn’t make me any less married or any less committed.  There are plenty of people who are married and wear rings and aren’t good spouses.

 

We had joked, when we were getting engaged (before our decision to try to live more minimally and really think about what was valuable to us–aka relationships and experiences and not things)  that he should get me a cubic zirconia ring.  We’d both read some articles about how the new CZ was indistinguishable to the naked eye, even some jewelers were fooled by them.  But we didn’t, mostly because I think we were both young and felt the pressure to get the all-important diamond like society says you have to have if you’re going to get married.  We wanted to “do things right.”  I wish we had just bought the cheap ring to begin with because then breaking the first ring wouldn’t have mattered as much.

 

In any event, when my diamond ring broke, I wanted no part in spending more money on another ring that could potentially break.  We picked out a CZ ring–it was gigantic and sparkly and beautiful, a round stone with little “diamonds” around it and more on the band.  I wore it for 2 years and got more compliments on that ring than on the original.  No one believed me when I’d tell them it was fake, and one of Eric’s coworkers even made me take it off, because she was convinced that it was some designer ring (and to prove how little I know about such things, I have no idea the name she even said).  I just finally had to get a new one when one of the little fake diamonds on the side of the first fake ring fell out.  Eric and I discussed, again, the possibility of actually buying a new ring.  Would we save money in the long run?  But the way I see it, if every 2 years, I buy a new fake ring for 20-40 bucks, and I never have to worry about it being broken or stolen or lost, that’s a pretty sweet deal. 

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Not exactly the same as my rings have been, but similar…

 

I know they say “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.”  But the truth is, my best friend is Eric.  I would rather have hundreds (or even thousands) of dollars that we would spend on a diamond ring to go see the world or do something fun with him.  I do not want a diamond ring.  Every girl does not want diamonds.  I have everything I need and most of what I want, and that’s pretty awesome.  Diamonds do not equal love.  Diamonds do not equal a happy, healthy relationship.  I may never have real diamond anything–and I am completely ok with that.  Maybe this is weird (kind of like doing a trash the dress photo shoot and then cutting my wedding gown up to make a tree skirt).  But I don’t want to be tied to things anymore.  I love my fake ring, but more importantly, I love Eric and what we have and what we are building together, and that is worth more to me than any diamond ever could be.

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